Photo credit: habologique at Flickr – http://www.flickr.com/photos/habologique/

I am so grateful that the Lord’s love and His blessings upon us are all because of who HE is. I was just thinking about how this past season I’ve been such a crying mess, because of everything that’s going on around me and yet the Lord is still merciful. There have been moments (and probably still will be in the future, unfortunately) where I second guess things, where I am struggling to simply stay afloat and see God in the midst of all of the confusion. That doesn’t stop the Lord from doing what He does and giving me the blessings that He has given me.

I was reading Psalm 63 and it reminded me of just how loving and worthy of praise God is. These verses especially stood out to me:

“Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,

My lips shall praise You.

Thus I will bless You while I live;

I will lift up my hands in Your name.

When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches.

Because You have been my help

Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.

My soul follows close behind You.

Your right hand upholds me.” — Psalm 63:3-4 and 63:6-8

In reality, God’s love, God’s presence, and God’s everything is really all we need in life. As much as we get distracted by the temporary things on earth, nothing can fulfill us like Christ can. There’s always an emptiness to be filled when we’re fueling ourselves on the wrong thing. He is the one protecting us. The image of us being in the shadow of his wings really tugs on my heart. Namely, the idea of us being in the shadow of the great and mighty God makes me feel really protected and safe. It makes me feel loved

I say this often, but I cannot stress enough how unworthy I am of His love. I’ve done nothing to deserve anything except hell, but God’s gracious enough that He made a way so that I (and you all, too) did not have to go through that. He went through that so that we did not have to. I am so unworthy of that kind of love and yet God thought we were worthy enough to send His only son for. In His eyes, although we’ve done nothing to earn that and we can do nothing to earn that, we’re worth the cross. We were worth the pain and agony He faced up there. We were worth the troubled heart he had in the moments leading up to His crucifixion. To Him, we were worth it.

To Him, you were worth it.

To Him, I was worth it.

I can never repay what He’s done and continues to do for me, but is my prayer that I never become numb to that fact and that my heart is always soft towards Him. I pray that the more I grow in my faith and my relationship with Him, that I grow in boldness and that I develop a fierce desire to share His word more passionately than before.

I don’t have it all together, but glory be to our gracious God that He still finds it in His heart to not only love me, but to continue working on what He’s started in me.

Wow. Just wow.

Be patient, my soul. Help me to have a willing heart, dear God. I may not be equipped or I may not feel prepared, but remind me that YOU equip us, God, and that all You want is a willing heart. God, please continue to grow me in You. As the psalm said, whether I realize it often or not my heart longs for You. In every void in my heart and life, it can only be filled by You — not things or people. Lord, please lead my life and my Spirit. Please encourage me, God, and in these upcoming decisions as well as ones to come, please be my guide. Thank Jesus, for ALL You’ve done and for your faithfulness. You are constant in every trial, God, and I am just so amazed by Your love for us. I am so undeserving of this, but I thank You that You love us anyway because of who YOU are and because Your love is that great for us. Be glorified in my life God and in this place. I love You. Thank you for saving me. Thank You, Jesus. Amen.