Something I commonly hear people say to single people is, “don’t worry, your prince charming will come and God will send you someone.” It’s usually a response they give after having a conversation with them about their desire to be in a relationship or something to ease their concerns after a breakup.
However, a few moments ago I realized why we should stop saying that and why it’s faulty:
We don’t know what God’s plan is for them.
By saying, “God will send them someone” we’re implying that we know for sure that it is in God’s plan for that individual to be in a relationship and eventually be married. We’re basically presuming that it’s in God’s will for everyone to be in a relationship without considering the fact that there are single disciples. We glamorize relationships so much that without even realizing it, we tend to assume everyone will be in one.
Well, what if it’s not in God’s plan for your friend to ever find someone?
What if He plans on keeping them single a little while longer or forever?
The last thing we want to do is fill someone up with false hope and that’s exactly what uttering that statement could do.
How about we instead, encourage our single brothers and sisters (I’m technically still single since I am not married), by telling them to cling to God? How about we encourage them by telling them that God knows the desire of their heart and they should seek Him above all things? How about encouraging them by telling them that there’s a purpose for everything and encouraging them to pray to God about what they can do in the current season their in?
I know it’s hard for singles. I know it’s hard for married couples. We all desire something, but instead of us going straight into thinking that our friends and family members will automatically find someone simply because society has put in our heads that we’re entitled to things, we should should seek God. This is something that even as someone in a relationship I have to remind myself of. I am not entitled to anything. I am not entitled to marriage. Marriage is a gift, but it’s also a calling. Similarly, relationships and singleness are a calling. Not everyone is called to be in a relationship for one reason for another.
Instead of saying the commonly stated, “you’ll find someone”, let’s encourage our brothers and sisters through prayer and by encouraging them to seek God in this matter and in all things. Let’s encourage them by trying to encourage them to seek God’s will in this. Let’s not encourage them by giving them statements that sound good, but we aren’t really sure of ourselves.