This song has been beautifully stuck in my head for the past couple of days. I’ve been emotionally out of wack and these past few weeks have been very trying on me. I think on average, I’ve cried about four or five times. It’s been a roller coaster of feeling so positive to feeling so broken about everything around me.
I know that even in these difficult moments, it’s God that is carrying me through it and keeping me from collapsing from all of the pressure and pain that I feel. I know that it’s only by His grace, His love, and His mercy that is keeping me from completely falling apart. I may feel broken at times, but I feel safer being broken with Christ than I do without Him.
I am here because of His love, His mercy, and grace. I would not be here if it weren’t for Him. I just have to trust that even when it hurts, even when it doesn’t feel good, God is carrying me. He is with me molding me and putting these broken pieces together.
Sometimes, I honestly don’t know how God could love me so much. As imperfect as I am and as much as I’ve messed up in the past, He still loves me with all the love He has in His heart. His heart still flutters at the sound of my voice calling out to Him and smiles when I praise Him. God’s love is so unconditional and although I know that I am unworthy of that, the fact that He loves me in the middle of all of that shows me how great He is.
He is truly the only thing keeping me from truly falling apart. He is the glue in my life holding me together with His beautiful love. He patiently crafted us and said it was good. He rejoices over us in singing. I often imagine Him smiling with the sweetest, most beautiful smile there is, joyful at the fact that His children are praising Him and calling out to Him. I imagine His heart fluttering even more than my heart is fluttering right now from the thought of Him doing that.
Even now as I write this, I started crying again except this time it was because all at once I felt His grace and His love cover me, completely. I am drowning in His ocean of grace, love, and mercy. I am completely covered by His love. I am enveloped by Him and it’s beautiful. Even in the moments where I don’t feel it, deep down I know it’s true. If I stop long enough, I can see His grace all around me. I can see Him all around me — taking the daggers for me and protecting me from more than I could imagine.
We don’t deserve His love. We can do nothing to earn nor take away His love for us. He gives is willingly and freely. He loves people — regardless of whether or not people are faithful to Him. He crafted us, uniquely and beautifully. He loves us all the same and yet individually at the same time. It’s an amazing thing. He loves us equally and yet as individuals at the very same time. He hears us all at once.
If His grace is an ocean, we are sinking.
God loves us in our brokenness.
He loves us in the middle of our storms, when we seem too much of a burden for others to deal with.
He loves us when we feel unloved.
He loves us when we are rejoicing with joy.
He loves us when we’re too broken to even know where to begin with our prayers.
He loves us when we want to be loved and He loves us when we need to be loved.
He loves us because He loves
…and oh, how he loves us so.