‘Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’ – Matthew 11:28-30
Yet again, I’ve found myself in a conundrum of difficult decisions where people having varying opinions. I am grateful for every opinion — even those that have been rather harsh with the idea of me choosing one decision over the other. But, sometimes I think hearing so many opinions makes it’s easier to be clouded by the opinion I need and want to hear the most. I may be led to go for the “yes”, but the one “no” seems enough to make me sob over feeling like I’d suddenly throw my life away.
I really desire (even when my flesh and feelings say something different) to be alone with God, sometimes. It’s one of the reasons why I desire to have my own place. There are other reasons as well, but I want to be able to retreat to my safe space. Just me and Jesus. To be able to create my very own safe space that I can go home to and truly hear the voice of the Lord. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m drawn to nature so much.
In fact, today while taking a walk with my boyfriend, God encouraged me to look up at the sky and admire the sunset by telling me to “look at the glory of the heavens.” Yes, it wasn’t the answer to the question I’ve been having for the past week now, but it was a beautiful reminder of that God wants us to mentally rest in Him as well. He knows the burdens I carry and the decisions looming over my head. He knows what is currently making me anxious and sob so much these past few weeks. He also knows what makes me smile and what makes me pause for a moment. That little invitation to stop and marvel at the sunset not only calmed my spirit almost immediately, but it encouraged my little busy brain to stop for a moment and simply enjoy the blessings around me. It reminded me that the Lord is handling all of this and all I need to do is let Him.
I have to trust Him. Even if I don’t trust my own decision-making abilities, I must trust Him. I must trust that He knows what’s best for me and my soul. I am scared because I am focused way too much on myself, the situation at hand, and what I don’t know. But in those moments like today that force me to pause and take in the beautiful things around me, I am reminded that I can focus on Him.