If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you’re probably aware that I’ve been vaguely referring to longing for something for a little while. While I cannot quite disclose everything at the moment, I will tell you that it’s been hard – especially when I’ve seen people around me acquiring what I’ve been praying for.
One of the things I’ve been desiring is a house.
The Fear of Missing Out & How to Fight It Click To Tweet
For those baby boomers out there, yes there are millennials that desire to own a home one day, but prices for nice homes in safe areas are absolutely ridiculous. Depending on where you live, for the price that you are asked to often put down for a home, you can pay off your college loans. Yes, it’s that expensive.
I also really want to be able to go back to school. It’s something that I’ve desired for a while, but I cannot afford to do because school is expensive and I don’t want to pile on the amount of loans I already owe.
As a result, I’ve found myself feeling really discouraged and stuck. There’s things I desire, but other things need to change for those things to happen.
I remember one day wondering why I was struggling with envy so much. Why is it that with each person I rejoiced with for acquiring what I’ve still prayed for, I was met with a twinge of grief and of deep longing. I was met with the reminder of the “not yet” and maybe “not ever.”
Yet the other day as I was in deep thought over this while watching an episode of “America’s Next Top Model” on VH1 (not kidding), I realized what was potentially the source of my envy.
The fear of missing out.
Yes, the phrase also conveniently referred to as “FOMO.” This is also an acronym that took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure out what it meant, but I digress.
I am fearing that because there are only so many reasonably priced homes out there, that the more people around me acquire them, the less likely it is that my husband and I will be able to move into our dream home.
I am fearing that the longer I am unable to acquire the amount of money or the opportunities I need to be able to afford for the both of us to go back to school, the less likely it is I will ever be able to pursue my ultimate career goals.
I am fearing that the longer I am unable to acquire a home in a safe neighborhood, the longer it will be before my husband and I are able to have a home large enough to prepare for children.
I know it sounds foolish as I am writing it out, but it’s so true. The envy I’ve been wrestling with, while rooted in many things, is primarily coming from a place of fearing that my prayers won’t be answered.
Plainly put, I am fearing that I will miss out and that fear sometimes is discouraging. Sometimes, it makes me feel that I won’t be able to experience those things.Plainly put, I am fearing that I will miss out and that fear sometimes is discouraging. Sometimes, it makes me feel that I won’t be able to experience those things. Click To Tweet
SHIFT YOUR PERSPECTIVE
As with many things in life, I’ve realized that when my perspective is on what’s eternal, I remember God’s promises to me and who He is.
What I mean by this is that the more focused I am on what I long for or what I want, the more consumed I am going to feel about wanting that thing. It’s kind of like what Paul talks about when he is imploring that we think of things that are good and pure.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”
– Phillipians 4:8
While longing for a house, a spouse or a baby isn’t an impure thing, I’ve noticed for myself that the more I am focusing on my longings, the more defeated I feel that certain things have not happened yet. I am more anxious about it and I find myself struggling with feeling overwhelmed with the fear of it not happening at all because it isn’t happening, right now.
However, if I am focusing more on Christ, I remember what God says in the bible about the desires of our hearts and the plan that He has for us.
Doing this might not erase the grief or the reminders that we have of what we long for, but it does remind us that as believers, we’re longing for eternity when we no longer have to wrestle with the things we wrestle with on earth. We long for the day when He will make all things new.
HANG IN THERE
Honestly, I don’t know the ways of God. The word even reminds us that His ways are higher than our ways. Therefore, we don’t know what will happen in the next few days. Who knows, maybe even at the point that I’m writing this, something will break through, I will hear back, and things will work out better than we imagined.
However, we must trust that even if we cannot currently trust our circumstances that we can fully trust in the goodness, faithfulness, and wisdom of God. Even if things seem meek right now or it’s hard for you to find glimpses of promises not yet revealed, remember that God’s promised that He has plans for us – not to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future.
What about you? Do you also struggle with this? If so, what do you do to help fight it?